Hasad~

Hasad dengki.. Hurmm… Penyakit hati berbahaya.. Awas diri, dan anda di luar, jangan biarkan penyakit ini menular melalui darah anda, merebak ke seluruh tubuh anda, terutamanya hati dan minda.. Nauzubillah.. J

Admitting. Memanglah tidak dapat dinafikan. Saya turut menghidap penyakit berbahaya ini.. Sometimes. Maybe almost all the time.. Setiap kali perasaan ini muncul, astaghfirullah.. Resah gelisah jiwa dibuatnya. Memang betul, orang yang hasad sentiasa dihambat keresahan.. Astaghfirullah.. Haihh

Adakah anda penderita penyakit ini seperti saya? How to detect it? Easy bitsy. Analisis respon anda bila melihat kejayaan orang lain.. Adakah anda tunjuk wajah girang gembira? What about your heart? Is it gundah gulana? Have you ever felt relieved when these succeeded people failed?? Well dear.. You need a doctor.. Nampaknya anda seperti saya, berpenyakit hati..hmmm

Jom sama-sama berubah.. Bukan mahu meninggi diri. Tapi syukur, since umur semakin meningkat, dan pengalaman yang banyak selepas duduk di Negara orang selama 6 tahun, I think I can handle this bad,really bad disease.. Ingat Allah, ingat kedudukan diri sebagai hambaNya.. Kita tidak layak, langsung tidak layak berperasaan sedemikian.. Nauzubillah.

Berhasad dengki, mengharapkan kejatuhan orang lain.. Itu maknanya menentang nikmat Allah. Itu berbaur riak dan takbur. Belajar bersyukur, selalu doakan kebaikan orang lain.. Tidak kira siapa, kawan atau lawan, kita sama-sama hamba. Doakan yang terbaik untuk mereka, insyaAllah, yang baik juga datang untuk kita.. Kan bagus hati bersih? Rasa tenang dan lapang.. J

Sabda Rasulullah SAW maksudnya: “Akan menjalar kepada kamu penyakit umat yang terdahulu, hasad dan saling benci membenci. Itu sebenarnya pencukur. Aku tidak menyatakan pencukur rambut, tetapi ia mencukur agama.” (Riwayat at-Tirmidzi)

Jom istighfar, jom sama-sama doa.. Be better in time. InsyaAllah peroleh ketenangan. Be nice to yourself and others..

Muhasabah hati~

Sungguh pantas masa berlalu.. Semakin menghampiri alam pekerjaan. Interview telah saya lalui dengan lancar, syukur Alhamdulillah..

Dan dalam masa terdekat, insyaAllah, panggilan induksi akan sampai.. Di mana, itu tidak pasti.. Tapi hati sangat mengharap agar dapat menjalani kursus induksi di tanah semenanjung. Kata orang, sambil menyelam, sambil minum air.. Hajat hati ingin bertemu dengan bakal keluarga di sana. J

Nasihat untuk diri sendiri.. Banyakkan membaca wahai diri.. Keputusan cemerlang di dunia universiti tidak menjamin kualiti kerja yang cemerlang. Hidup di dunia, tidak akan putus untuk menimba ilmu, meluaskan pengetahuan, mematangkan akal dan fikiran.. Setiap peringkat hidup, pasti ada ujian dan dugaan.. Dan untuk menghadapinya, ilmu di dada perlu diperkaya, terutama soal agama.. Sihat rohani, insyaAllah semua akan ditempuhi dengan tenang.. Amin Ya Allah..

Sebagai bakal doctor, profesion yang memang terkenal dengan cabaran fizikal dan mental, saya kena banyakkan muhasabah diri.. Kena belajar kendali stress dengan bijak. Be a humble person, said Fauzi... Banyakkan bertanya, belajar dari bawah.. Biar orang pandang kita tidak tahu, supaya mereka mahu mengajar kita.. Jangan berlagak tahu, tapi akhirnya kesilapan besar datang bertandang..

InsyaAllah, dengan berpegangkan iman dan cinta yang utama ke atas Allah SWT, dan Rasulullah SAW, saya akan kuatkan diri, luaran dan dalaman untuk menempuhi semua ujian yang diturunkan.. Semoga diri tergolong dalam orang yang redha dan tawakkal. Sentiasa ingatkan hati, saya ada Allah SWT, yang sentiasa memerhati, menjaga, dan menyayangi saya. Ikhlaskan diri membantu mereka yang memerlukan..

Moga dipermudah segalanya.. Jom sama-sama rajinkan diri membaca.. 

p/s: Alam pekerjaan semakin dekat, minta-minta alam perkahwinan pula dipermudah..Doakan..

Interview SPA~

Syukur alhamdulullah.. ;)

Hari ni, berakhir dengan lancarnya interview SPA saya..Overall,soalan medik memang tidak banyak.Kalau nasib lebih baik,memang tidak ada soalan medik langsung, lebih kepada bual ringan berkenaan plan masa depan, persiapan diri untuk masuk kerja, dsbg.

Debar berhari-hari sebelum interview memang kuat.Nampak perkongsian rakan medik yang sudah melalui proses interview,rasa seolah-olah akan kembali ke alam oral exam dekat U dulu..Stay up baca buku..Dalam kereta,bualan semestinya merangkumi dunia perubatan..:)

Secara ringkasnya,ini soalan yang saya dapat.

1. Kenapa pilih perubatan?
2. Puas hatikah dengan gaji yang kerajaan Malaysia peruntukkan? Yang ini saya jujur cakap kurang puas hati..Tidak sempat susun ayat yang lebih baik.Tapi interviewer cuma ketawa..hehe
3. Sanggup ka dihantar ke rural area untuk compulsary service nanti? Saya jawab, that's what I want,to be honest.Dia tanya,why? Saya jawab, "saya rasa duduk di tempat yang sama for a long time,minda kurang berkembang."...He said,"right,we must think outside the box."
4. Describe one word,yang doktor mesti ada untuk dihormati,disegani.
5. Then more about his experiences as an HO,nasihat dan teguran..

Syukur dipanjatkan..hehe.. Jujurnya,memang interview ni buka minda saya. Cuti bukan bermakna goyang kaki tengok tv. Buku wajib buka,baca. Siapkan minda dan mental yang kuat untuk HO nanti. Fizikal jangan diabaikan.. As a doctor,kesihatan kena jaga. Since lack of sleep and stress from work environment, immunity boleh terganggu, akibatnya cepat flu, migraine, depressed. Kualiti kerja? Ikut sekali merundum.. Nauzubillah.. Jagalah diri anda semua wahai bakal HO..

Lagi satu, banyakkan membaca.. Rajinkan diri anda semasa cuti. Orang pandai belajar dan orang bijak, itu dua perkara berbeza.. Apa guna A tersusun banyak atas sijil, kalau akhirnya kualiti kerja tidak kemana? So,wahai diri, kuatkan theory anda..

Lastly, interviewer ada pesan, berkhidmatlah untuk negeri sendiri, Sabah.. Since Sabah masih kritikal kekurangan tenaga doktor.. Sangat kurang. Hurmmm.. Saya pilih Hospital Teluk Intan as my first choice.. Yang lain, still hospital Perak, dengan alasan, bakal berkeluarga di sini.. Sambil tambah alasan bonus, mahu timba pengalaman di tempat orang.. In Shaa Allah dipermudahkan.. Wahai hospital KK, jangan pilih saya please..hehe

Okey.. Till then! Doakan.. ;)

Perfect woman~

Remember this legendary story? A young man, who's too tired and hungry, and ended up eaten an apple that flows along the river. He found the owner it, and finally the owner asked him to marry his daughter. And the young man says yes, even the the daughter is blind,have no hands,no legs,mute,and deaf. But when the young man met the girl, she's a beautiful girl, not as incapable as the father has described. Guess what? She's perfect. Here..

Blind: she haven't seen bad things and take a good care of her eyes from any vices.

No hands: she didn't use her hand to steal, or do anything bad with it.

No legs: never go to bad places.

Mute: never let any men hear her voice,as woman's voice can shake man's iman.

Deaf: she preserved her ear from any vices or bad words.

She's perfect. In term of Islam, she is perfect. A daughter who stays home, doing things a daughter should. Helping her father, avoid from any man's sight, cleaned heart from any dirtiness. She's perfect.

Allah, can I be like her? 

Oh Allah, please granted me Your sweet hidayah. Solat 5 times a day doesn't guarantee your path to Jannah. Same goes to those who do bad things 24 hours a day, that also doesn't guarantee their place in Hell. Anything can happen. In a moment, you changed your heart, good to bad, or the opposite. And who knows, during that very little moment, Allah called you back to Him. Taubat will only be accepted until your soul reach your throat. After that, no tears, or cries can change your faith. Nauzubillah. Let us all die as a true muslim, in heart, and soul.

Allah, help me. You know how weak I am. You know how I need your help in time of hardship. Sometimes I felt so tired, I almost let myself down. But I know I have You. Let us get through this hardship smoothly. Let it be smooth and in ease. Let everything be fixed as we wish it should. 

You knew what's best for us. Allahu Ya Rabbi. Ameen..

Tomorrow~

Mode: Bored.

I can't sleep tonight. Despite only slept for four and a half hours today, I'm imsoniac right now. After talking and laughing with the love, I was left alone wandering around my room, waiting for this eyes to fell asleep. And now, my stomach is calling for it's top craved, hot chocolate. Here you go, stomey. :)

Done uploading my winter coats pictures on facebook. And shame on me, I did it on the wrong way. But whatever, I don't care, and I don't think anyone actually care, so long the pictures are there. Hehe. Hope it'll be sold out by this week. In Shaa Allah~ :)

Tomorrow, it is going to be a long day. Well, I'm planning to start on my fasting day. And uhm.. I need to be a tough girl to throw away those boxes of books and papers outside my room. Need to clear up the living room for those sweet girls who's waiting to live here as soon as we go back to Malaysia. So, estimation... 5 times going up and down the stairs with one big box full with heavy books. Ugh. Go on, burn those cals.. ;p

And yeah, I need to see my dentist tomorrow. Updating these braces thingy. Hope to remove the brackets at least by next week. Please, not the convo's pictures. Not with this nerdy mode face. Na ah. Please doctor, get rid of this 'Betty' image by next week.. Pleaseeee~

Then... Jubah. Yes. Jubah for the small kenit cousin of mine.

Yeah. I'm bored and imsoniac. I can't sleep, and now, I'm posting my tomorrow's to do list on my blog.. Yey! Now my eyes said, "Let's sleep dear brain. Time to wash out those metabolites!" ;))

Time is precious. Cherish every moments, cause you never know when it be your last moment.--- Anonymous

Alhamdulillah~

Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah...

It was evening here, in Zagazig. Me and Dina, wondering around the hijab shops after having an appointment with our dentist. During this dull moment, a friend called us. Our exam result is out! Yes, Dina freaked out. Me too. On the inside. I tried to act calm. I keep telling myself, "It's okay, redha and tawakkal. No matter what the result is, I've tried my best." But to be honest, yes, I do freaked out, and my hand shake and sweaty. Trying to distract my attention by focusing on the shawls. Nope. Not working. So I decided to call a friend to check my result. I can't wait any longer.

And walla~ Here's my result! :)

Note that my marks censored here..;p

I got mumtaz a.k.a excellent! Alhamdulillah.. How big Allah's gift for me today. Honestly, I was aiming for Jayyid Jiddan this year. Since I felt a little bit threaten by my way of answering the exams this year. But what do you know? Allah helped me. Syukran Ya Allah.. :')

I remember my talk with Dina 5 years ago. "I don't expect to get mumtaz every year, but my aim is to get better result year by year." And alhamdulillah, getting Jayyid during my 1st and 2nd year is a miracle. And Jayyid jiddan from 3rd till 5th year is another big gifts Allah had granted me. And finally, mumtaz says hi to me. This time, he hugged me and said, finally, I'm yours. hehe. Alhamdulillah..

"Faith is the first factor in a life devoted to service. Without it, nothing is possible. With it, nothing is impossible."
Mary McLeod Bethune

Have faith~

Indeed, Allah know what is best for you. Have faith in Him. Everything happen for a reason. There's always a good behind the bad. And there might be some bad behind those goods. We'll never know. All we can do is just move on with our living, filled with abundance of gratitude and remembrance of Allah. Hoping that everything will be fine some day. 

Our life is like a book. A written book. Finished book since us as a tiny lifeless meat inside our mom's womb. Everything has been written tidily and perfectly. Our earnings, our partner, time of death. All of it. It's Allah's will. By His will only, things happen. 

So, why should we filled out heart and mind with worries? Fears? Sorrows? 

Me. Punishing myself with non stop worrying. I want it. I wanted it so bad, that I'm afraid I might lose it. I'm scared of losing it. I cried so hard hoping that it won't go away. I wanted to hold it tightly, so tight that it can never slip away from my hand. I can't sit calmly, I think too much about it, I feel unease and tangled.

Until I get to sit on the sejadah today, wearing my telekung, done sujud as long as I wanted. The calmness finally arrived. Just like that, all the negative feelings flown away. I can breath with ease. It's like a whisper that came softly into my heart. Yes. Once I put my feet on the sejadah, this whisper came to me. "Have faith in Allah. Allah knows what's best for his slave. Don't worry, if the thing meant to be yours, by Allah's will, it will come to you. Now or later, if it meant to be with you, it will." 

Allah, how lovely Your Mercy is. Syukran Ya Allah. Syukran..

Stop worrying, dear self. Pray. Ask for Allah's help. Never stop asking. As Allah loves His slave that always performed  Du'a. Keep asking. Keep praying. Keep hoping. With full of believes and faith. Allah loves me. I know. And I love Allah with my whole heart. There's no better way of expressing your fears and sadness, other than Him.. Alhamdulillah, I have Allah..

"And who so ever believe in God, He guide his heart. And God is Knower of all things."---64:11