Our life is like a book. A written book. Finished book since us as a tiny lifeless meat inside our mom's womb. Everything has been written tidily and perfectly. Our earnings, our partner, time of death. All of it. It's Allah's will. By His will only, things happen.
So, why should we filled out heart and mind with worries? Fears? Sorrows?
Me. Punishing myself with non stop worrying. I want it. I wanted it so bad, that I'm afraid I might lose it. I'm scared of losing it. I cried so hard hoping that it won't go away. I wanted to hold it tightly, so tight that it can never slip away from my hand. I can't sit calmly, I think too much about it, I feel unease and tangled.
Until I get to sit on the sejadah today, wearing my telekung, done sujud as long as I wanted. The calmness finally arrived. Just like that, all the negative feelings flown away. I can breath with ease. It's like a whisper that came softly into my heart. Yes. Once I put my feet on the sejadah, this whisper came to me. "Have faith in Allah. Allah knows what's best for his slave. Don't worry, if the thing meant to be yours, by Allah's will, it will come to you. Now or later, if it meant to be with you, it will."
Allah, how lovely Your Mercy is. Syukran Ya Allah. Syukran..
Stop worrying, dear self. Pray. Ask for Allah's help. Never stop asking. As Allah loves His slave that always performed Du'a. Keep asking. Keep praying. Keep hoping. With full of believes and faith. Allah loves me. I know. And I love Allah with my whole heart. There's no better way of expressing your fears and sadness, other than Him.. Alhamdulillah, I have Allah..
"And who so ever believe in God, He guide his heart. And God is Knower of all things."---64:11
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