Exhausted ~

It's a long long long day for me today. Completely exhausted. Feels like dying. Lying flat on my bed all day long. I can't enjoy any musics. Slow one reminds me of this bizarre situation I am in today. Fast one reminds me of that someone who I might missed so much and cry so hard for. Things got really twisted up, and everything kept bouncing up and down inside my head. The old and recent stories. It's too dramatic, yet, that's the type of relationship I just get myself into. Tiresome. But I choose to fight, and at the same time, hurt and cries.

 Things solved just now. For sure, as expected, one will bursting out to tears, non stop, which is me, and the other one walked away happily with boosted smile on the face. I cried. My eyes hurt so much. Feels like my eyeballs will pop out this orbit in no time. Plus, my eyelids seems more Chinese look like right now.

After cried out loud with my pillow and spongebob, and cried over the phone with my girl, Dina, who's still wondering why I cried so hard just now, now I feel a little bit lighter. Although this heaviness over my chest still present, at least I can breath smoothly now. A little smoother..

I splashed my face with the coldest winter water, and prep my face to sleep with Isis Serum and eye gel. I drink lots lotsa water to cool down my throat and heart. Lying on my bed, dragging along my lappy, put it on my lap, and watch some hilarious youtube videos. Stuck with JLovesMac1 videos, she's cool and funny, my mind still blankly thinking about other thing. The fact that things were just happen today, and still freshly baked in my mind, I just can't stop myself rewinding all those heartbreaking and suffocating episodes.

I ended up watching videos about 'break ups'. How to handle it, how to get over it, how to do it, when is the right time to do so, why we need break ups, and so on. It helped a lot actually. Yes, I never thought it would, but it just did. And so I watched this video, also by JLovesMac1, telling on how to get over the break up. She was telling the right thing here. In her own mediocre way. I love her tips.

I know I may sound a little bit weird. Sad story, but not so sad way of telling it. I'm completely unstable right now. Mentally I mean. I'm tired. I need my beauty sleep, since it was stolen from me last night by this unhappy event.

Okay, gotta go. I need to act happy. I am happy! Well, at least I have something to wait for. Which is it? Sinai hiking tour! This 1st of Feb till the 3rd. Pray for our safety. We will enjoy the hike for sure. Plus, counting days to go back home. Huhu... I missed my dad the most in this critical emotion of mine. ;'(

Okay all.. Good night. Remember dear self, Allah always watching. :')

"Why Am I so scared of losing you when you are not even mine?"---Anonymous