Refreshing~

These past few days were just as dull as the weather did. It's winter and the sun seems a little bit shy to expose itself. Sometimes hot, another time, it's freaking cold. The perfect time to catch cold. So everyone, get yourself up, move more, sweat your toxins out of your lazy body, be more energetic and of course, take out all those thicker clothes and socks. Take care of your only place to live, which is, your body.

Healthy mind equal to youthful body. I had a bad hair day during these past few days. Winter do damage your hair without hair serum. But nope. It's not about my hair. And I didn't blame the weather this time. It's me. Who forgot to get a perfect rest after those long tiresome exams. I go to Cairo straight away after the exam. And the day after, I begin to sleep 5 hours sharp as usual, starting my engine for the next exam. Without realizing that I've forgot to refill the gas. It's an engine with drops of leftover gas. What a waste.

So, I'm now trying my best to get my perfect rest as others did. My poor body and mind, they do feel tired. Too much work last time huh? Okay, relax and refresh. Another 3 sessions of exams, and poof! It's holiday. Short but hope it'll be meaningful. Planning to attend attachment here in Egypt. May God's Will.

Okay, good luck all~

And yes, happy winter! Did I mention how much I love winter than summer? Finally!

"And although I like to relax and have fun, my passion is my work."

---Benjamin Cohen

Workaholic with joy~

This is all I can think about. My future. About me being a doctor to-be (by Allah's will). I'm a 'workaholic to-be'. That's what my friend called me. "You're a study-holic now," that's what they replied when I ask them why they called me that.

I'm really into this medicine world now. My keen to explore the world of medicine is beyond my expectations as before. I'm really in love with it. Maybe a little bit delayed, but 5th year really does changed my heart, my attention. I love medicine. Everything have it's own mysteries. Everything need to be explored. And the answer is the real satisfaction you'll ever had.

I spent my previous years with worries. Thinking about how my life will turn out to be if I keep doing things I'm not really into it. That's the old episodes of me being a blind girl, didn't realize that medicine is just superior amazing than others.

Finally I found the real joy of doing something I really love. No tiredness, nor boredom. See? Allah do watching. Alhamdulillah.

"You'll find the light at the end of the tunnel, so long if you keep moving forward, with passion and patience."

Meaning behind luck~

“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”

It is just a luck. It's on my side, and I'm really thankful to Allah. Overwhelmed by yesterday's exam, which nearly made me feels unconsciously relaxed to prepare for tomorrow and others becoming exams.

Everyone seems worried. Another bigger exams is waiting. And I was like, don't worry. Another luck is coming. But actually, it is a bad hopes, isn't it?

Yes, there are moments when you feel luck is on your side. You don't read much, you don't stress yourself enough as others, turns out, you can passed through the exam smoothly. And thanks to Allah, it is such a bless from Him.

I cannot sleep last night, I want my adrenaline to rush out through my vessels, increase my sympathetic response, my nervousness as others. I don't want this feeling of 'over-relax' keep lingering around me. 'Defensive Pessimist'. Remember?

What if this luck is just a sign. It is a sign that telling me to work harder for this becoming exams. Maybe those lucks were just a 'one-time' chance, so that I can keep doing my best for another days. I cannot just put my hope and efforts on luck.

I need to work fully harder today. Strive at my best. I know I can if I fully determined myself that I can.

Hard work comes before luck. It's in that order.

InsyaAllah~

“I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.”

Don't stop!~

I was wondering why on earth does my past few days felt so dull and depressed. PMS isn't the answer right now. Not this time.

I felt so exhausted, doesn't have the usual keen to read books, despite our oral exam of dermatology is just floating in front. I was lost. In a battle with my own weakness. I bowed upon my laziness and tiredness, which is unexplainable. It's not like I've run a hundred miles or doing anything. I was just wandering around the house, staring on nothing, thinking about NOTHING.

I do worried. Just like others, I was worried about my past exams. My becoming bunches of exams.

No. Not now. This isn't the right time to say 'tawakkal'. There'll be no tawakkal without full efforts. Right now, I'm striving at my best, with hopes to get blesses from Allah. Don't stop trying in the middle of the war, or else, you'll end up dying with full of regrets and shame. Held your swords high, swing it as hard as you could.

“People become really quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things. When they believe in themselves they have the first secret of success.”

– Norman Vincent Peale

Bad can be good~

Every yin always has it's yang. Same goes to our beliefs that germs is bad for us. Turns out, they can be good for us. UV rays used to treat some skin conditions nowadays, which previously stated that it is bad for our skin.

Same goes to pessimism. It can be good as, or even better than the consistently optimist one. But add the word 'defensive' in front. Defensive Pessimist. And that will be the one.

Being known as a pessimist is a no for us. All of us thriving of being so called 'Optimist'. The pessimist will pick the half empty, while the optimist would choose the half full. But now, I'm not talking about a general disposition to see a glass half empty. Lets take a look from a different standpoint now.

What exactly is Defensive Pessimism?

It is a strategy used in specific situations to manage anxiety, fears, and worry. How? When facing a pressured situation, these pessimist will prepare themselves by setting low expectations for themselves. In the meantime, they will have the urge to make a detailed assessment of everything which might go wrong. Once they imagined the full range of bad outcomes, they'll eventually start to figure out how to handle things out, and that gives them the sense of control.

"What's intriguing about defensive pessimists, is that they tend to be very successful people, and so their low opinion of the outcome isn't realistic; they use it to motivate themselves to perform better. They use 'defensive pessimism' as a tool to work through all the possibilities so they prepared for everything, even failure. And if they do fail, they are ready for it, so it's not so catastrophic."

---Lawrence Sanna, PhD, professor of psychology at University of North Carolina

Well, do you think you're a defensive pessimist? I think I've already turned to be one of them since here in Egypt. Too many things have change, and thanks God for letting me see things through many different ways. Experiencing the bad isn't bad at all. It is a tool for me to build a better new me.

Till then. The time is ticking, another exam is waiting. Wish me luck~

Source: Oprah.com

Aah..that's life~

Life always synonym with the word: COMPLICATED~

I'm 23, and there's too much to think about. It's not about tomorrow, nor next week. It's about what kind of 'me' would it be, in the next 5 years, and 10 years.. Right now, one thing for sure is that I'll be a doctor. And of course it wasn't as easy as others interpreted. Graduation is a big deal. Going through 6 years is a big deal. But what's the 'real big deal' is the becoming things we will be facing afterwards.

HO, and then MO. And God knows how HO being highlighted nowadays. Their poor of skills, knowledges. It is bothersome somehow. But the only thing came crossing my mind right now, for sure, we'll get there by time. Scared from being called as 'incompetent'? It won't help at all.

Life always like that. There's nothing we'll get by free. No one in this whole world ever be success smoothly as they planned. There'll always be a bitter things to come. It is all depend on us. It is a matter of going through it.

It is a tall thick wall in front of us. And no one knows what's behind that wall, but that's the only way we had. Turning back around is not an option. Depend on us to figure out how to pass through it. WISE + BRAVE + DETERMINED. And once you've passed the wall, for sure there'll be another wall waiting miles ahead. Taller or shorter, or maybe sharper at the edge. We must make sure to pass through it, smoothly, without destroying ourself. That is why it is so important for us to learn on how to control our own emotion, our weakness. It isn't all about physical strength. Emotional strength nowadays already being the first key for a better and worth life.

Make a shell. Be immune from any types of attacks. Verbal, physical, emotional. It's our life. Be braver. Stop whining around saying it is hard, it is not worthwhile. Our life depends on only one party, which is ourself.

I can feel the heat. But I used it as my energy booster to work harder and better. Every negative charges thrown over me, I'll turn it all into positive one. Building a strong positive will. The only one who can control ourself, is our own mind.

*end of self motivation mode. Tomorrow: 3rd paper of IM. Wish me luck~

The Legendary Steve Jobs~

Steve Jobs in memory: 1955-2011

I'm not an Apple's all time fan. But I always had this thought, how amazing that person who innovated all this products. How smart he is. How he can see the world beyond the limit. He created things that make the world realized how new era of life is encroaching just by changes of things. Every new products of Apple Inc. make me think, "Aah...world really does change. Is it 2020 or what?"...

I cannot imagine what kind of products will this giant innovate in another 5 years...or 10 years. It is just unimaginable. I'm impressed.

Just now, I've found out that this man, the one that I've always questioning about his amazing way of thinking, creating, just died. Blame his liver cancer. It is such a big lost. He's just an amazing man. He is dead, but he left his legendary memories with us. His innovations. Like what his employer said, "he's like John Lennon, or Elvis Presley".

"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything -- all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure -- these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma -- which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice."

--- Late Steve Jobs, Commencement Speech at Stanford University, 2005

It is not always about you~

I've found this amazing article. Guilty, scared.. Everything! I'm a daughter, a woman. I always tell people around me, "Mind your own business, then I'll watch mine". But now I realized, it's not just about me. What I do, how I act, my way of thinking, my appearance. It's not just about me.

As a muslim, it is a must for us to believe in the hereafter. It is the afterlife, where all we've done during our life, determine whether we'll be going to Heaven or Hell.

Here, I wanted to share about men. We all know that women will be majority in Hell, as they're easily committed sins. But what about men? Here I shared this article for us to think. Wallahualam~

Di akhirat nanti ada 4 golongan lelaki yang akan ditarik masuk ke neraka oleh wanita. Lelaki itu adalah mereka yang tidak memberikan hak kepada wanita dan tidak menjaga

amanah itu. Mereka ialah:

1. Ayahnya

Apabila seseorang yang bergelar ayah tidak mempedulikan anak-anak perempuannya didunia. Dia tidak memberikan segala keperluan agama seperti mengajar solat,mengaji dan sebagainya. Dia membiarkan anak perempuannya tidak menutup aurat. Maka dia akan ditarik ke neraka oleh anaknya.

"Duhai lelaki yang bergelar ayah, bagaimanakah hal keadaan anak perempuanmu sekarang?. Adakah kau mengajarnya bersolat & puasa?..menutup aurat?.. pengetahuan agama?.. Jika tidak cukup salah satunya, maka bersedialah untuk menjadi bahan bakar neraka jahannam."

2. Suaminya

Apabila sang suami tidak mempedulikan tindak tanduk isterinya. Bergaul bebas di pejabat, memperhiaskan diri bukan untuk suami tapi untuk pandangan kaum lelaki yang bukan mahram. Apabila suami mendiam diri walaupun seorang yang alim dimana solatnya tidak pernah bertangguh, puasanya tidak tinggal, maka dia akan turut ditarik oleh isterinya bersama-sama ke dalam neraka.

"Duhai lelaki bergelar suami, bagaimanakah hal keadaan isteri tercintamu sekarang?. Dimanakah dia? Bagaimana akhlaknya? Jika tidak kau menjaganya mengikut ketetapan syari'at, maka terimalah hakikat yang kau akan sehidup semati bersamanya di 'taman' neraka sana"

3. Abang-abangnya

Apabila ayahnya sudah tiada, tanggungjawab menjaga maruah wanita jatuh ke bahu abang-abangnya dan saudara lelakinya. Jikalau mereka hanya mementingkan keluarganya sahaja dan adiknya dibiar melencong dari ajaran Islam,tunggulah tarikan adiknya di akhirat kelak.

"Duhai lelaki yg mempunyai adik perempuan, jangan hanya menjaga amalmu, dan jangan ingat kau terlepas... kau juga akan dipertanggungjawabkan diakhirat kelak...jika membiarkan adikmu bergelumang dengan maksiat... dan tidak menutup aurat"

4. Anak-anak lelakinya

Apabila seorang anak tidak menasihati seorang ibu perihal kelakuan yang haram disisi Islam. bila ibu membuat kemungkaran mengumpat, memfitnah, mengata dan sebagainya...maka anak itu akan disoal dan dipertanggungjawabkan di akhirat kelak....dan nantikan tarikan ibunya ke neraka.

"Duhai anak2 lelaki.... sayangilah ibumu.... nasihatilah dia jika tersalah atau terlupa.... kerana ibu juga insan biasa... tidak lepas dari melakukan dosa... selamatkanlah dia dari menjadi 'kayu api' neraka....jika tidak, kau juga akan ditarik menjadi penemannya."

Hurmm...It's also about my father, brothers.. :(

Another episode of boredom (again)~

"Richard Clayderman: Romeo & Juliet Love Theme"

"Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow."

- William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, 2.2

Counting days for 2nd paper of Internal Medicine~

Till then, I'm tired, listening to my favourite playlist in 4shared. Hurm...How many days left before 8th? Chill! ;p

Invisible vampires?~

Nowadays, vampires is synonym with Edward Cullen nor Bella Swan. But, no, this isn't about them. Same creatures, but different stories.. :)

Ever heard about "Energy Vampires"? It's refers to those who sap your energy off you, make you feel down and drained, weak. Some people call them, "vibe suckers", or "mood hoovers".

I think all of us do have this kind of people buzzing around, who always dampen our mood. Daily. And only God knows how, how tiresome it is..

Moods and energy are infectious. Positive people can do wonders to our mind, bring us along with their flawless thought about how bright this life can be. Same thing happen when you tend to tangled around those negatives. "Energy vampires" thrive on negativity, unwilling to see life in a positive ways. They drained your energy along, drag you down.

No matter how hard we tried to highlight the positives, they always turned it back to their negative thoughts. But don't blame them, as they usually unaware of it.

Signs you've been struck by "Energy Vampire":

• exhausted and feeling unease after being in their company.
• feel negative and down.
• feeling dread seeing them again.
• stressed and tense from the thought of seeing them.

So, what should you do?

1. State your case: they are unaware of it. So try to tell them personally. Tell them exactly how you feel. Little chance to say it face to face? Then type it down. By doing this, you can also arrange your thoughts, one by one so that no one will get hurt.
2. Imagine: you might feel miserable when these vampires often appear in front of you, maybe at work or home. Create your own shell then. Imagine of having a big radiated shell around you, that no one can get through it without your consent. It is a powerful shell that helps reflect back all those negative charges and thoughts. It works in me! :)
3. Affirmations: It is a powerful statements that we say to ourselves. It has strong influence to our state of mind. No one can make us feel inferior without our consent. As for me, before beginning answering my exam, I usually take a time to calm myself down in a positive way. I keep repeating my affirmation, "I can do it. I've read all the books, I can remember it. Arrange, and write." Write your own affirmation to face those vampires. eg:"I have a strong and positive power all the time".

Well then, good luck~ :)

“We live in a world of free choice, and it is our choice to be sucked down by those who complain about everything, those who see the negative, dark side of everything, those for whom it can never be right. Remember that this way of being is their choice. The negative life they lead is a choice, their creation, although they may not be aware that they are the author of their own misery. We too have choice. Energy vampires cannot drain our vitality without our permission. We don’t need to be a part of their world. Open up to them your own world of positivity, energy, joy and love, and invite them to participate fully in it. Their failure to join you is not your problem.”

---Dr Karl Birthistle