Disoriented~

I was helpless last night.It was hectic,and I surrender.In the middle of the corner around my last paper for this final exam,I let myself drowned by this uncertainty.Don't know why during the peak of my study?Why during the most 'you better not waste your time' moment, it appear out of nowhere,asking me to think,think, and think.And thanks,in the end,I lose and I did what I shouldn't do.

It hurts like someone stabbed the knife directly to my chest.It hurts so much that I can't bear to pull myself together ignoring it for a while.I can't breath properly and it annoyed me.Too much thoughts.Till me neither can't choose which one is the truth,and which one is the result from my overused instinct.

Oh Allah,help Your helpless slave.I really need You.Please blow away all this bad feelings,all this uncertainty.Please show me which way should I choose.Please show me which one is my best pathway to go on.Allahu Ya Rabb.Help me..

Today will be the last day before our second paper of ObGyn.Alhamdulillah the first one goes smoothly as I wanted it to be.Alhamdulillah.Now the second,and I will try my best to let it pass smoothly.It's short notes and MCQ. Hundred of MCQ.

Allah,help me to focus on my study today.Don't let me waste anytime You've gifted.Help me Ya Allah.Lighten this heart to gain more knowledges, and clean it from any dirtiness.Amin..

Exciting countdown~

Counting days for ObGyn papers. And clinical. And then? pOOf! It's the end, end of my final exam, end of my final year in meds school. Exciting countdown I'm telling you. The excitement of waiting for this to end is far much more superior than the nervousness of the exams. Tsk..tsk..I know. I should focus on my exams more..;)

A lot of plans with Dina, to travel around Egypt. Since after being 6 years here, we haven't even climb Mount Of Sinai, or visit Matrouh, and Luxor. A must visit places in Egypt, and yes. No matter how, we will go there. Must! ^^

Also, counting days to go home is the most exciting calculation for me now. Going back to Malaysia as a true Malaysian this time. No more bothering myself about when to go back to Egypt, this homesick disease and so on. I'm back for good this time, iAllah amin.. I can't wait! Fams, hubby,gff, wait for me! <3

Okay, back to my books now. Wish me luck! ;))

Steve's words for my day~

Steve Jobs. My all time idol. Yes he is. The world known best man in expanding his big dream into reality. From an adopted boy of two non graduated parents, now he is the legend in the world of technology. Apple inc. That's his shadow of spirit after departed from this life.

I woke up this morning. Tidying up my messy room, spreading out my carpet as preparation for winter coldness, and then I sat in front of my General Surgery book. Getting my mind ready to swallow more facts, only then I realized, I was not as excited as I am before. Is this subject bored? Or is it my laziness that stopped my mind from savouring it's endorphins? Na ah. I need my morning motivational words.

Opening my youtube account, searching for motivational videos, and ended up clicking Steve Jobs video. Speech at Stanford University during their graduation day, it was such a beautiful speech. Devastating. Amazing. In just a moment, I got injected by his spirit of positivity, his confidence, his passion, and his discipline. :)

Here, watch it. And experience the excitement of new motivation.. ;)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gO6cFMRqXqU&feature=related

It was put with English Subtitle. Watch it. Trust me, you are not going to waste your 15 minutes. It's worth it. :)

Here I shared some of my favourite picked up quotation of his from this video.

" You can't connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in the future. Because believe in the dots connect down the road, will give you confidence to follow your heart  even when it leads you off the well-worn path and that will make all the difference."

"I'm pretty sure non if this would have been happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith."

"I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I love what I did. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work, is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking, and don't settle." 

"Remembering that I'll be dead soon, is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything, all the external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure, these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart." 

 "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by Dogma, which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinion drown out your inner voice." 

"And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."

Okay. Time to read. Good luck all~ :)

Final exam for the last chance~

Alhamdulillah~

It's the end of our round today. Goodbye radiology. And now, no more round to be attend to.. Officially, our study gap had started today. Less than a month, final will say hi. Even now I can see it's shadow waving just around me, telling me how close it is, showing me it can come closer enough any time, if I ever let myself lost within my procrastination.."It's your last chance dear, mumtaz said this is your last chance to get him." ;p

I need to readjust my study schedule tonight. Officially my nerdy part will come back home tomorrow. This crazy one sadly need to leave tonight. Too much to read, to understand, to memorize. InsyaAllah, where there's a will, there's a way. :)

Believe in yourself. That's what important. I believe in myself. I believe I can do my best. Result is Allah's job. He knew what's best for me. All I can control is my way of get myself ready. I will try my best in every way I can. InsyaAllah. Expecting the best is a must, so that even if you fall, you'll still fall among the best. Don't let expectation being the culprit of your tense environment of studying. Let it be calm and cool. Inhale deeply. Life need to be touched, not strangled. Be nice to yourself. The most important thing, use your time wisely. No regret awaiting. :)

Good luck all friends. We are going to be the first Malaysian student graduates from Zaqaziq University of Egypt. Lets strive for the best in this final year of ours~ 

"Sometimes we never really learn from the first mistake or the second or third. It only hits us when were given the last chance."---Unknown

A month more~

Slurrping hot pure nescafe without sugar and creamer. The exact satisfaction for a caffeine addict like me. Lately I have decided to change my sleep pattern. Staying up it is. Enduring Egyptian children roaring, plus shrilling horn across the street, I choose to read in this slam-bang environment.

Waking up earlier at two in the morning was good. Indeed the silence appropriately helpful if you are looking for a good concentration to read. But since our round sessions still ongoing, I can't hold my head much longer from 2 am in the morning, till the end of class at 2 pm. 12 hours straight? Don't forget my discussion with Deena straight after the end of classes. Till 5.30 pm.. @.@

My poor brain needs it's pretty rest. Metabolites can slow down your brain, said Dr Oz. So yes, staying up is my best option in the meantime. I'll try to adjust it back once my round sessions ended. :)

And one more thing. Today is 13th of October. Exactly a month away from my final exam. And yes, the aura of struggling and striving slowly crawling to it's peak. Adrenaline and endorphins begin reaching it's top limit. Sympathetic overcome parasympathetic. Diagnosis? Exam mode has officially been arrived today. Welcome sir! Your wish is my command~ ^__^

So wish me and my friends best of luck for our exam preparation. May Allah SWT always be with us, blessing us in our effort to gain more knowledge. Keep reminding oneself, that exam is not something you should be afraid of, not an excuse to be depressed or tension. It is just another test to push us to be more productive. Use this opportunity to gain more information, from books, internet, friends. One at a time. Appreciate the present moment. Enjoy. ;)

I have so much chaos in my life, it's become normal. You become used to it. You have to just relax, calm down, take a deep breath, and try to see how you can make things work rather than complain about how they're wrong. 

---Tom Welling

Mode: Bored + Study?~

I was sitting alone in my room. Enjoying my hot chocolate drink mixed with Kacip Fatimah Cafe', it was delicious enough to make me sit longer. I'm bored.

It's Thursday evening, where everyone is busy spending their time by resting, hanging out with others, sleeping, eat out. It's weekend for Egypt. Unlike Malaysia that's always Friday being the favourite day for Malaysian student, us here, Thursday it is. It's weekend, and I'm bored.

I felt empty this evening. Make myself busy by washing all my one week clothes, my spongebob, my jeans. I reach my wet tissues, wiping all those obvious dusts all over the place. Cleaning my fans. And now, it has already ended. So now, I'm bored again.

And now, I ended up posting. And taking pictures. Yes, it's final exam fever. Everyone has already begun. Me? Alhamdulillah, so far so good I think. And yes, I do have fever, like the real fever, 3rd day already. Headache, runny nose, lack of taste and smelling sensation, watery eyes, and breathing from my mouth. And yes, it is a complete annoyance. Be patience, tomorrow insyaAllah will be better. Although I hate taking antiflu, it force me to fall asleep, but I should take it to be better. Sick equal to 'no study' mode. I wanted to be healthy, means 'in study' mode. 

Here's are some random pictures of mine. My room looks like an office. That's how they described it. Study mode room they said. :)

A messy whiteboard sched~But helped me a lot. :)

A simple reminder.

Morning alarm. :)

Enough honeymoon~ :D

Everything must be in a happy mode. 

See? Spongebob also read with big smile~

My 3rd destination, after bed and lappy desk. (haish!)

Yosh!Study!

Wish me luck~ :)

Okehbai. ^^

No better time to be happy~

We told ourselves that life will be better after we finish our secondary school, that there'll be less rules to be obeyed, no more nagging parents to be stuck at home, no more school uniform to be ironed every night. But turned out to be worse than we can ever imagine. Surviving all by ourselves, schedule depends on our mind to set it up, where everything need your attention and alertness, fight with friends and the feeling were just hurt deeper than we are able to hold in.

We told ourselves that life will be better if our partner begin to put himself together, be matured enough to be   your spouse, nicer car, nicer house, going on a nice vacation when we retire.

The truth is, there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when?

Our life will always be full of challenges. Each stages of our life, challenges always be there. From school's life, and now university's life, admit it. We were all have been through a lot, every time. It is best to admit it to yourself and just be happy now. We'll face it anyway, we'll get through it anyway. So why don't we would just be cool, enjoy each moment given?

As for me, I choose to treasure every moment that I have, and I'll treasure it more when I spent it with someone special, special enough to shared my time with. Because I just knew, time will wait for no one. It'll be just moving along with our life, no pause, no rewind, just plain forward. And to treasure it, happiness is the way. There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way. Yes it is indeed. :)

So, why don't we would just stop waiting? Stop waiting.... until we finish exams, until we graduate, until you lose 10 pounds, or gain 10 pounds, until you get married, or break up with your partner, until you started to work, or lose your job, until you got kids, or until the kids graduate from high school...

Deena: she knew how to turn my crazy button on.

There is no better time to be happy, everyone. The time is now. The present moment. So smile, laugh, enjoy each moment gifted with your loved one. Be happy. ^^

"For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, or a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life."---Alfred D. Souza