Alhamdulillah~

Hellopzz!It's been a long time right? Two months passed, and I still don't have any interesting thing to share here. But realizing my so lagged post updates, I decided to share my random thoughts here.

Right now, I'm in exam mode. My end round OBGYN exam is just around the corner, and yet, I'm not even 80% ready for it. Why? Not to blame others, except of course, me. My mind already preoccupied by other thing.

The smile that can change my bad day
 to the greatest one.

What is it? It's my father. Been diagnosed as thyrotoxic patient since the last 7 months. I was shocked. Not to mention my mom. But known as an 'iron-faced' lady, I try my best to act cool as if it's just a simple noodle case, nothing to worry about. But deep inside, everyone was struggling. It's hard you know. I learn a lot about thyroid diseases. I remember every details clearly, as for me, endocrine is a super exciting subject to read. But who knew, it just happen.

Months of worries finally ended. Today, my father undergo total thyroidectomy, which is after hours of discussion with my brother, which one to do. Simple lobectomy, partial or total thyroidectomy? We discuss everything thoroughly, each advantage and risks. And that's it. I say, total it is! Hours of restlessness finally paid up, for good. I received the greatest news ever from Nana, my bro's girl, saying my dad's operation already done, and he already awake and talk normally. That moment, only Allah knew. I cried so hard, harder than before he was operated. Thank you Allah!

So now, I can deviate my mind back to my OBGYN books. Few days more. All I can do is to read as much as I can. Allah love His slave who tried hard, who never say "I can't" before timed. I'll just do my best! It's a small exam, but as we all know, in medicine, each mark brings big effect towards our final result. :)

Alhamdulillah Ya Allah. Syukur ke hadrat Ilahi~

Mode: Let's read! :)) Good luck all~

It's a BABY!~

I'm super excited right now! And the reason is, finally I get to see the real delivery process! Like, real!

Luckily, I get to pull Yana along. With my still spastic neck muscle, I was so excited to attend the Emergency Unit of O&G. And million thanks to our cute Dr. Manam, he conduct us all the way.

Just as soon as I walked inside the building, I have this feeling of being a great surgeon! Haha, still a dream though. The first case, was vaginal delivery, but not normal delivery since it was complicated by vaginal tear extending to the urethra. Poor mum, she screamed out loud when the doctor suture it right away. Without anaesthetic. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. ;p

For the second case, it's C.S (Caesarian Section). This madam was one of the nurse worked here in this hospital. Also, this is her forth time undergo C.S. The doctor expected it to be much more difficult since there is extensive scarring from previous operations. He first emptied her bladder with catheter to avoid injuring it as the bladder might be adhered to the uterine wall. Also, estimated blood loss must be less than 1L. Alhamdulillah, everything went smoothly, and she got a cute baby boy! With lotsa hair!

For the third case, vaginal delivery also. The baby was delivered with Occipito-posterior position. Malposition actually. But I didn't see the whole process, and ended up entering the room while the baby was already delivered. Maybe he was delivered by normal mechanism. But the baby was okay, and there is no extensive vaginal tear. So I assumed it was a normal mechanism after all. But we focus on delivering the placenta and the membrane this time. The doctor use 'Controlled Cord Traction' method. ( Brandt-Andrews). After that, he explore the uterus for any remnants. Trust me, his whole hand was inside her! That's when the mum started to scream. 0_0"

The forth case, was another C.S, but this time, it was a complicated case. We call Placenta Previa. Prone to faced a severe postpartum haemorrhage, the doctors decided to terminate the baby before it's viability. 24 weeks, and for sure, we'll lost the baby. (Doctor's word)

The fifth case, also vaginal delivery. And this time, we get to see the second stage of delivery as a whole. The mother took a while to deliver the head, since she don't have that much contraction to pull the baby out. Assisted by Oxytocin drips, the baby finally out! Smaller, but we can hear she's crying.

Seriously. It was like, how on earth a living creature coming out from a human body? It's a beautiful yet astonishing thing to see. A big thanks to our mum. And biggest thanks to the only one, Allah SWT...

Beautiful, that's all I can say. Beautiful... :)

Ouch!Spasm!

It's been 4 days already. And my neck still hurt like hell. Seriously.

Diagnosed as severe muscle spasm, I don't even know how did it occur in the first place. I was lying down, ready to take a nap, suddenly my neck twisted at one point, producing a loud click sound. I ended up lying down passively, can't move at all. Luckily my house-mate were alert enough. They bring me to the nearby hospital, did an X-Ray, and diagnosed as severe muscle spasm by this kind neurologist.

My 3 days neck collar

Already missed two days classes. And I feel terrible for that. Seeing my friends coming back from classes, I can see the difference between them and me. I felt completely bored at home. I can't even move freely. The analgesics made me sleepy all day long. And I hate intramuscular injection! It hurts!

3 days IM injection

Huhu... Tomorrow insyaAllah I'll try to attend classes. Since I need to manage my letter of getting permission to go home next week, I must come no matter how hurt my neck is. May everything goes smoothly. Amin.

“Tidaklah seorang muslim tertimpa suatu penyakit dan sejenisnya, melainkan Allah akan mengugurkan bersamanya dosa-dosanya seperti pohon yang mengugurkan daun-daunnya”.(HR. Bukhari no. 5660 dan Muslim no. 2571).

Trust~

" You shouldn't trust anyone. Listen, face it. All of us have the highest tendency to compete with each other. Even with your what so called "BFF" or "GFF" whatsoever. So, keep your faith and trust just to yourself. 100% within you. Keep in your mind, no one, I mean, NO ONE will ever help you except you, yourself."

Ever heard this astonishing yet amazing statement? I know it seems completely sarcastic and cruel. Not to trust people around you? 

Well, I can't really comment a lot about this matter. It's their point of view. For me, of course everyone wanted to be the best. Even among the best. And that's where the competition started. Healthy or not, it depends on ourself to evaluate and perceived it. Remember the famous saying? ' No one can make you down without your permission.'

What do you think? To trust or to not trust? Haha.. Life's always complicated. People change. And so yourself.  If they want to climb up to the top, and so do you. That's life. That's human needs. Their thirsts of hearing compliments and praises. Money and power. 

So let them be. They wanted to play dirty? Let them. The key is, always keep yourself together. Never let them break you down. Stand on your feet. Not by other's cane to keep you stable. So that, whenever they decided to disappear and left you alone, you can still stand perfectly.

For me, I don't let myself rely on anyone. I do have the habit of sharing what I think, what I wanted to do to others. I do have the longing to take advices from others, day by day in order to keep me aware and alert. It doesn't matter any more. I'll just take the good thing. I'll just keep the positives. That's how I nourished myself with happiness and less worries.

If they said, "NO ONE WILL EVER HELP YOU EXCEPT YOURSELF," then I'll complete the sentence to be a better advice to take. "BUT REMEMBER, NO ONE CAN EVER STOP YOU EITHER, EXCEPT YOURSELF."

So dear all. Chill. Cheer. Relax, cool, and love more, give more. Don't be over thinking, since it might twists you mind around. Enjoy life as it is. 

Okay. Good luck all~ 

New round~

I'm excited! Why? Because finally it is our time to attend Obstetric and Gynaecology Round! Yay! I know it might sound a little bit sarcastic. It's just a matter of shifting round. But for me, farewell to my love honeymoon period in General Surgery Round, and now the excitement of Adrenaline gush finally come. 

My friend who used to be in this O&G round were all excited and love this round. I mean, those females. They were excited to explore new mystery about how new life produced. Most of them determined to be specialist in this area. But not me. YET. Who knows I'll become one of them by time? :)

I hope this new round will be smoother. May us all in Group A can grasp each knowledge smoothly and firmly! InsyaAllah, amin..

p/s: I will be absent for 2 weeks in row! Gosh I'm worried right now!

Broken inside~

I was crying so hard. But I don't actually know why. Too much thoughts in mind. It's suffocating and sad. I was looking for someone to talk to. But since everyone were so busy for their becoming exam, I tried not to take any of their valuable time. I was trying hard to grip every strength I had to stand still. But at last, I ended up being loss and broken. I cried out each tears that I've been trying to hold in these previous days.

The thing is, I don't even know what's the reason. If I do, it might be a little bit lighter to carry on with it. But I don't. I was sad for no reason. My head hurts as if it's about to explode, but the fact that there's nothing actually burdening me, it's just strangled enough to make me down.

Is this a sign that I've becoming farer? I mean, I don't have the calm feeling that I used to have before. Is it because I've become much farer from Him? Allah, please forgive me for everything I've done. Please help me facing this situation strongly. Help me find the peace within myself. Free me from these suffocation and tiredness. Please Ya Allah...

"Wajah yang dibasahi oleh air mata kerana takutkan Allah s.w.t.., walau bagaimana sedikit pun air mata itu, terselamat dari api neraka."

Today is a brand new day for me. Let us all pray, insyaAllah it'll be far much better day than yesterday. Be stronger, be mindfulness, be much more organized. Throw away all those dirtiness inside our heart. Don't give them a chance to even leave any stain inside. Be clear and pure. Love each seconds we have. Appreciate others love and care. Be kind to others.

Allahu Ya Rabb, I love you~

Stuck and uploading~

Okay. Now it's time for my 'stuck' mode. And when I'm stuck, I do things that bring me a little bit far from the causative focus. Here's some bits and pieces of my pictures with my besties during our one week holidays. Ugh... How I can't wait for another long holidays, Luxor, Syam El- Sheikh, Sinai. Still got a lot of places here in Egypt. Okay. I need to continue with my study after this. So, here's the pictures. :)

And yes. These pictures didn't show exactly the places. Thanks to our lack of 'high-tech' cam. Using Dina's iPad only. Huhu. By the way, I can't wait for another holiday to hang out with these naughty-naughty girls! Okies~ Wish me luck for my General Surgery exam! :) p/s: Here I leave you with these amazing quotes. Especially for those who've being filled with a lot of worries nowadays. Yeah, that's me. Chill!

"Never let life's hardships disturb you ... no one can avoid problems, not even saints or sages." ---Nichiren Daishonen

Ask yourself this question: "Will this matter a year from now?" ---Richard Carlson