Update ringkas~

Alhamdulillah…

Berkurun tinggalkan blog. Sejak masuk alam pekerjaan, setiap saat, detik menjadi taruhan. Tidak ada lagi episod duduk termenung merenung kipas bilik berputar, sambil dengar lagu Lana Del Ray..hmm.. rindu saat-saat itu.

Lebih setahun lenyap dari dunia blog, akhirnya terpanggil menulis sedikit update kehidupan sekarang.

Sekarang…

1)      Sudah bekerja di bawah KKM. Masih seorang doctor pelatih tapi cabarannya cukup berat buat angan-angan lama ingin berawet muda dan bercantik-cantik ketika bekerja jadi harapan tinggal harapan.. :p

2)      Sudah berkahwin, menjadi gadis pilihan hati kepada seorang jejaka macho di seantero dunia (bagi saya..hehe), Mr Mohammad Fauzi Bin Sulong.. Tarikh nikah: 30 May 2014. Tidak berkesempatan memilih tarikh macho semacho pasangan pengantin kerana had cuti yang ada. Honeymoon hanya d hospital, suami pula atas kapal merenung enjin kapal. *p/s: kepada junior2, kahwinlah sementara menunggu panggilan ptm, haha

3)      Sekarang ber’baby’ dalam rahim. Hari ini tepat masuk 3 bulan, complete first trimester. Alhamdulillah.. Alahan? Yes.. too bad to the point saya kena mohon cuti panjang. Syukur Allah tulis perjalanan yang mudah, HOD department faham dan bagi saya long break untuk kesihatan saya and baby..

4)      Tahap stress semakin tinggi.. Kalau baca entry saya sebelum ini, semua berkaitan be positive, atau kuatkan semangat, bla bla bla.. tapi sejak masuk alam pekerjaan, cas negative mendominasi.. Need some terapi minda dan jiwa. La haula wala quwwata illabillah..

5)      Dulu saya amalkan diet sihat, oat, dan sayuran kononnya.. badan naik sekilo, bising macam naik 10 kg. Sejak kerja, badan susut mendadak. Kadang-kadang perut berkeroncong bila busy tahap gaban. Clerk case tapi dekat kepala nak jamah roti pun jadilah. Lebih-lebih lagi sejak alahan teruk, badan makin cekeding.. Doakan baby sihat.. J

Ringkas, diharapkan cukup padat. Teringin juga tau khabar berita kawan-kawan batch zagazig. Entah apa kisah sekarang. Sejak kerja tak pernah dah jumpa. Tanya khabar dekat watsapp, wechat, line, hmmm… Tanya hari ni, bulan depan baru dapat reply. Semua busy..

Kesimpulan, alam pekerjaan tidak seindah yang diharapkan. Memang tak mengharap pun, tapi tidak sangka sepahit ini. Moga diri dan sahabat-sahabat kuat menempuh alam latihan ini. InsyaAllah, bila lesen tetap dalam tangan, semua akan lebih lancar. Amin Ya Allah..

Buat junior-junior, pesan akak. Study rajin-rajin. Ambil peluang sebanyak mungkin untuk menimba pengalaman. Jangan menyesal esok hari.. hehe.. tapi jangan lupa juga, enjoy your every precious moment with your precious friends. Kenangan 5 to 6 years dalam dunia student dengan kawan-kawan itulah kenangan manis berharga yang mampu buat kita tersenyum bila berdepan saat pahit di alam pekerjaan..

p/s: Suami berlayar lagi.. Doakan kami sama-sama kuat. Rezeki Allah dah tulis dengan cantik. Minta hati sama-sama tawakkal dan bertenang. Love you Mr Fauzi to the moon..hehe

" There had been times when he knew, somewhere in him, that he would get used to it, whatever it was, because he had learnt that some hard things become softer after a very little while." - Nick Hornby

Different pathway~

I do had a second thought. Not once, but many times. I told myself that life ain't as fair as it should be.

Life is hard. Tough. Only those who is strong enough can survive. I've been through a lot. Too much, non stop. And to be honest, this isn't the kind of life I've dreamed of.

I wanted it to be simpler, easier, and clearer. Get my medical grades, get a job, work my ass off to the best, find my true love, get married, and focus on being a good wife and mom, and a great doctor. Ease enough.

But Allah had granted me a far much different pathway. Completely different. Too much painful and tiresome obstacles. Why me? Maybe I'm one of those strong candidates that seem stronger enough to break the hardest wall. But to be honest, I am not strong. I'm weak, fragile. Easily gave up.

But who am I to questioned Allah's plan? For sure He knew what's best for me. Maybe this is the moment, where I need to bounce myself back up after the hardest fall. All I need to do is just turn myself into the right material. To bounce higher then other's expectations.

I need to be stronger. I need to practice bigger patience. And most important, I need to stop comparing my life with others. Seeing their perfectly happy life, makes me hate my life even more. Regrets and questions. Too much and adding an extra burden over my chest. Maybe, they already had those painful and hard moment in their life. And they've got through it successfully. So now it's their time to savour the sweetness of their life.

My time will come. I strongly believed it will. Sooner. Just be stronger, patient, and have faith. Allah always watching. Just have faith. Life might seem not fair enough, but who know this path was made to create a better version of me. I hope.

Heart, keep calm. Just move on. I chose to stay on this road, this pathway. I do saw some other better options, but I choose to stay here. I believe, it will bring me to a better life forward. All I need to do is just keep moving forward, no more turning back, no more regrets and hesitation. Just move on.

Don't underestimate others life. Everyone had their toughest moment. The difference is, how they able to get through it.

Life is hard. I know..